imafuturist | New York City, Sunday

"This isn't so bad," Steve said with more enthusiasm than strict adherence to the truth. "We've made lots of new friends."

Drunken idiots "accidentally" bumping into you on the subway, Steve. Not the same thing.

"You are so full of shit," Tony said with a snort.

Steve pulled him in closer. "I am," he confirmed, laughing. "Where are going now again?"

"Jan's. Well, one of her places," Tony said, gladly pressing into him. "She's got a decoy party going in Manhattan."

Of course she'd have a decoy party to hide her real party.

Steve burst out laughing. "Of course she does," he said fondly. "Are you sure we've been invited to the real one?"

"Oooo, I'm telling her you said that," Tony replied,wrapping his arms around Steve's waist to lean into him as the subway car jolted a little.

"That's assuming she's even at this part at all," Steve teased, grinning down at Tony from under his ridiculous knitted hat.

It was adorable and Tony needed to buy him about five more of them. "And miss out on snapping a picture of me dipping you for a New Years kiss? Never."

"Who's dipping who now?" Steve asked, laughing.

"I'm deeply offended that you don't think I can manage it," Tony replied, tapping a gloved finger at Steve's chest.

"Oh, I'm sure you could," Steve said, with a little smirk. "I just didn't know you'd packed a suit tonight."

"What was that? You don't want a kiss tonight?" Tony asked.

"I didn't say that at all," Steve said quickly, using the jostling of the car as an excuse to get closer.

Tony hummed like he totally believed him, having no trouble in cuddling closer. It was that or fall into an already drunk woman who really needed a jacket. "Well, that's good to know."

And the other half of her skirt. It was cold out there, lady!

"I've never really had someone to kiss on New Year's," he admitted.

Welcome to modern New York, Steve.

"Yeah?" Tony, don't sound so into that.

Steve's cheeks--the little that was showing because seriously, New York, it's cold--turned bright red. "Well, yeah."

"For that, you can dip me," Tony promised, going up onto his toes to kiss Steve's nose. Because it was still exposed.

"Sure it won't look like I'm trying to recreate V-E Day?" Steve checked.

"I wouldn't say no to that," he assured Steve. "Might even be into it as long as you're not expected me to wear heels."

"I'm definitely not expecting you to wear heels," Steve murmured, "though the gentleman half the car ahead of it is definitely pulling it off."

Tony glanced over his shoulder to see the gentleman in question. Or lady? Possibly lady, depending. "I might finally be at equal height with you if I wore them," he said, looking back at Steve thoughtfully.

"Is that something that bothers you?" Steve teased.

"Terribly," Tony replied, tugging on Steve's scarf in order to kiss him without anything interrupting it.

Steve froze up: holding onto people in a subway car was one thing, but he was half-expecting some kind of rude catcall for this.

It was the New York Subway in soon to be 2018, Steve. It didn't even ping on most of the people's radar.

Tony pulled back, giving him a concerned look. "You okay?"

Steve bit his lower lip, looking a little hunted. "We're okay doing that here?"

"We're half a car away from a drag queen on his way to a show," Tony said with a little smile. "But I can stop if you want."

"No," Steve said, firming his jaw in that old familiar stubbornness. "If you want to, then I want you to."

And he leaned in and kissed Tony, and lingered.

That might have gotten their nearest neighbor to sigh in annoyance. But it was the lady without a jacket, so it might have been due to not having a date for New Years Eve.

"Welcome to the future," Tony said quietly, brushing his thumbs over Steve's cheeks as the car abruptly jerked to a stop. Which led to a little clinging.

"Finding a lot to love here," Steve replied, giant sap that he was.

Tony was just forced to kiss him again for that even as the subway shuddered a little more and the lights dimmed. "Did the trains do this to you guys in the past?"

"The rattling or the lights?" Steve asked. "I wasn't on the subway much, really. Couldn't afford it."

"Both," Tony replied as a muffled voice came over the intercom. What it said was a mystery for the ages. "I haven't been on the subway much for... other reasons."

Soooo rich.

"Opposite reasons?" Steve guessed, kissing Tony's nose because he could. Ha! Take that, lady with too little skirt!

Why couldn't she manage to nail a pretty boy like him? God.

"Opposite reasons," Tony agreed with a laugh. "First time on here was with Rhodey."

"So...college?" Steve checked, laughing. "Tell me you've at least had a dirty water hot dog, Manhattan boy."

"I wouldn't be allowed in the city if I didn't," Tony assured him seriously. He tugged on the collar of Steve's jacket to emphasize that.

"True," Steve said, "and you make an excellent bagel and schmear."

Steve got so New York in the city.

"I'll make sure to drag you to a deli after the party," Tony said with a wide smile. He really liked Steve going full on New Yorker. "See how much you can eat."

"Really?!" Steve said. "Pastrami and whitefish and celery soda?"

No celery soda, Steve. No.

"Anything you want, grandpa." Tony, don't be mean.

Steve frowned at him. "What's wrong with whitefish?"

Tony kissed him again quickly. "More the soda, honestly."

"Oh," Steve said. "Bucky said it's an acquired taste."

Bucky said it was disgusting.

"It really, really is," Tony assured him. "I'll accept an egg cream, through."

"Excellent choice," Steve said, grinning. "How many more stops do we have? And will Jan have snacks?"

"Two more stops," he promised, peering out the window to see what the hold up was. The car jolted again like he was going to start moving and then the lights went out entirely. "Or we're dealing with a breakdown."

Of course they were.

"Of course we are," Steve said dryly.

It didn't take long before everyone around them was pulling out a phone to light up the area or text their misfortune.

One of those two.

"Think I can stealth fix it?"

"I have all kinds of faith in you," Steve said, smiling. "Go for it."

Tony smiled back, going up onto his toes for one more kiss before trying to make his way to the door of the car.

Which would be when there was a loud boom and the entire train jerked to the side before landing on the tracks again. "Oh come on."

Steve sighed heavily. "Figures for this year, honestly. What are you betting: animal, mineral, or vegetable?"

"Pry the door open, dearest, and let's find out," Tony said, pushing through the now a little disturbed crowd. It was still New York. And his New York at that. It wasn't panic worthy until someone literally started tearing into the car. "Money's on sewer alligators."

Steve put his shoulder into it and pried the doors open--they squealed loudly in protest. "Bonus if they're wearing 2018 novelty glasses."

"That's a narrow window to hit," Tony said, ignoring the noises of protest from the people in their car as he slipped out into the subway tunnel. And wow did it smell like a hobo.

And he didn't have a serum-enhanced nose!

"Smells like Brooklyn back alley," Steve said, trying to breathe through his mouth. Because ew.

"Gotta love this city," Tony said, holding up his phone to light the way around the car to where gruff voices were coming from. "If this is a basic robbery, I'm going to be so mad."

"Seems like a lot of effort," Steve agreed, "and it's not like the people with fancy jewelry are taking the subway tonight."

Tony came up short, once he got a look at who was causing the commotion and then sighed. "Well. Bad news, it's not alligators. Good news, they're idiots."

"Hey, people are gettin' out of the cars!" one of the esteemed--esteemed and feared, you jerk--Wrecking Crew called back to his compatriots.

"...well, make 'em get back in," said another.

"Woooow," Steve said slowly. "They're a little special, huh?"

"Get back in the car, you!" Thunderball said, waving a magic wrecking ball in their direction.

Their thoroughly unimpressed direction.

Tony sighed and pulled his scarf up to cover his nose and mouth. Because he was a vigilante for real here.

"They're some of Thor's guys. I can't remember if it was Loki or Amora that made their stuff magical." Either way, it was annoying. "You luck out on so many of these things."

"I really do," Steve agreed, dodging the...magic wrecking ball, the hell. "What do they normally want?"

"Money? Better costumes?" Tony said, moving to the other side and sighing in annoyance as the wrecking ball was pulled back. Magically. UGH. HE HATE MAGIC. "Take your pick."

"We got trouble here!" Thunderball called back.

"I told you to tell 'em to get back into the car!"

Thunderball sighed, basically ignoring his opponents for a moment to get into a shouting match with the other. "I know, but they aren't listenin'!"

Criminal masterminds, Steve. They were criminal masterminds.

"We don't have any money!" Steve called out helpfully. "Everyone on the subway's too broke even for Uber!"

"Hey, shut up you!" Thunderball snapped back. Luckily for him, someone was finally coming back to help out here.

"Aw, c'mon, man. It's just two guys," Piledriver said.

THEIR NAMES WERE RIDICULOUS.

"By the way, they're super strong," Tony said, glancing up at the ceiling for an electrical line he could use in a fight here.

"Me strong, Thor strong, or Hulk in a bad mood strong?" Steve asked.

Tony would have answered that, but Piledriver--a real codename that someone picked for themselves here--took that movement of distraction to send Tony flying backwards with a punch.

"If you know what's good for ya, you'll get back on the car."

Behind him, Thunderball grumbled, "I coulda done that."

"Ow," the crumbled pile that was Tony said.

"Hey now," Steve said, jaw clenching as he stepped forward to protect Tony, touching that nasty ground. Poor Tony. "There was no need for violence. We're not givin' you our money--we're not idiots--but you don't hit people for that."

Steve, that's...just not at all true. "You head on back to wherever your secret lair is, I don't hit you back for hitting him, and we all start the new year off right. Deal?"

"Who's gonna stop us? No Avengers anymore," Piledriver said, totally not picking up on what Steve was putting down here.

Tony stood back back, rubbing his jaw through the scarf. "Oh, I'm going to electrocute you for this. St--" Shit, no. "Ca--" Noooope. "Sweetheart, this is a case where violence is the answer."

"Yeah, I'm starting to agree with you," Steve said, then gave Tony his most impish smile. "Honeypot. Dibs on the one who hit you."

"Yeah. Dibs, sweetheart," Piledriver mocked. Because he was a classic bad guy.

Unfortunately for him, for all that magic shit, he still took a punch like a normal human.

"Have fun," Tony said, leaving Steve to it as he skirted around the car and out of sight.

Much to the consternation of Thunderball.

"I could do this all day," he called out, "but I'd rather not," he said to Piledriver. "We have better places to be."

And then he punched him right between the eyes. Hard.

Which sent him stumbling back, eyes crossed. That hadn't been expected from someone on the subway. Yes, even in good ol' New York.

"What the..."

He went down pike a pile of bricks and Thunderball called back to the other two. "We got trouble here!"

Before Tony was Batman style kicking him in the face as he jumped down from the train car.

"Two down, snookums," he said, looking super proud of himself.

"You take me to the nicest places, sweetcheeks," Steve teased back, rounding on the third guy.

Guy number three was aptly named Bulldozer and he looked like one too.

And he was coming at Steve at full speed to knock him flat.

"You got this!" Tony called back with a wince as he went to check on the front car. And maybe get them to evacuate to the back.

"Do I, though?" Steve muttered to himself, bracing for impact. He missed his shield and was forming a hazy plan of using a subway car door in its place if he couldn't just use this guy's own momentum against him when he got closer.

He could possibly do that! Maybe after the guy tackles him directly into the train car, much to the concern of the people inside. There might have been a slightly Steve shaped indent there now.

You know. Like graffiti.

With his body.

But, hey! They solved the muster of how the cars moved before!

If Steve had a quarter for every time he'd dented the subway, well, he'd never worry about how to pay to ride the subway.

"Ooof," Steve grunted, grappling for a good handhold on the guy to punch him in something soft-ish. Not the helmet. "You couldn't have gone to the Bronx tonight?"

Tony got to a pried open door that looked like The Hulk tried opening a sardine tin and checked in on the cowering people therein. "Hey. Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man."

When thar didn't track, he caught sight of the driver. "Get everyone to the back. Or better yet, to the last stop. It's about--"

"A mile back, I know," said driver snapped. Ah, New York. Believe it or not, he actually missed this.

May be the kidney? Who didn't want a good kidney shot?

"No money in the Bronx," Bulldozer rumbled back. Like. Duh, Steve.

He got a good grip on Steve's jacket to try tossing him against the subway wall. He was a big ol' tank of a man, so speed wasn't his thing.

"I am not touching that wall," Steve gritted out.

He'd probably get typhoid or something. Gross.

He kneed the guy in the junk because he had things to do, okay, and dealing with this crap was not on the list.

He couldn't even get typhoid! Maybe. Did he have it before?

You couldn't really see Bulldozer's expression with the helmet, but he let out a wheeze at that and dropped his hold on Steve like a hot potato.

You cheater.

Three down! They were doing great!

Or were before Tony took the glancing blow of a crowbar to the head. And that got the people moving to the back of the train in a rush.

"Jesus Christ," Tony groaned, seeing stars before his legs went out from under him and he was being dragged by the leg away from the car by Wrecker. Possibly the one competent of the gang.

Steve whirled around. "Sweetie?"

God, that sounded dumb. He missed the call signs.

Well, that's what happened you were in a different timeline where you were dead, Steve.

"You're gonna back off or 'sweetie' here is gonna get his brains knocked out."

"Are you kidding me?!" Tony did not like being taken hostage. Did not like it at all.

Steve was doing that jaw clenching thing that was probably visible even through the scarf. "So what do you want, pal?" he asked.

"You're gonna back away and forget you were even on this train and we're gonna take all the money--" On a soon to be empty train. "--and... and that's it."

That was his plan. It wasn't a great plan, but it was a plan.

Tony slumped back onto the floor that smelled like old grease, rats, and the usual eau de urine that seemed to just linger in the subways. "I'm offended. Deeply offended by this plan."

"That's...pretty special," Steve said, almost feeling sorry for the morons. But they hit Tony twice, so...nope.

At least it wasn't clear just who he was trying this on?

"Hit him, baby," Tony said, using the guy's hand around his ankle as a pivot point to pull himself up enough to kick him in the goddamn knee.

"You got it," Steve said, punching him hard in the kidneys.

Which left him with two things that hurt here and no surprise attack to make up for it. Because Bulldozer over there was still crying a little bit over his balls.

Steve, you monster.

"What the hell? Who are you people?!"

"Pissed off New Yorkers," Tony said, scrambling up to his feet and kicking the magic--yep, magic- crowbar out of his reach.

"We're going to make us miss the good appetizers," Steve said severely. "You deserve to feel bad about that."

Maybe not ball-crushed bad, but Steve was hungry. It was all the deli talk.

"Okay. Okay," he said, switching to a new tactic. "We'll get out of here. Right boys?"

Bulldozer made another sad noise, but that was about it.

Tony pretended to give that some thought, picking up the crowbar. "What do you think we should do with them?"

"Call the cops?" Steve offered. "Maybe let the pissed off subway New Yorkers at them?"

"Cruel and unusual, Ca--babe." Yeah, the codename thing was still throwing him off.

"Cops... are on their way," he said tilting his head and eyes going a little vacant as he accessed their networks. "Knock him out and we gotta go."

"And he'll be out on this nasty floor," Steve said, knocking him out.

Tony tossed him the crowbar. "There's a service door down a little ways," he said, tugging the scarf down to smile at him.

Steve grinned back, snagging the crowbar and using it to wrap around lead baddy's wrists.

Like a show off.

"You get to pry open that door with your hands now," Tony informed him. Somewhere near the back of the train there were lights headed their way.

"Oops," Steve said, cheeks going pink above the scarf as he walked very quickly to the door and pried it open.

Like a dumbass.

"In, in," Tony said, laughing as he rushed after him. "I don't want to avoid getting arrested. Jan will have our heads."

"And we'll never get snacks," said the slightly tunnel-visioned Steve.

"I'm packing granola bars next time we go out." To protect everyone else from hangry Steve. "We can get a hotdog when we hit the surface if that'll keep you happy."

Steve lit up. "Yes, please. With mustard."

Tony laughed, grabbing onto Steve's jacket for a kiss. Because he was amazing and he had some adrenaline running through his system and needed to do something with it.

Steve kissed him back, running his hands along Tony's sides and then gently to the back of his head. "You're okay?"

"Bit of a goose egg for later, I'm sure," he said, wincing as Steve found the spot that he got hit.

"Vision okay?" he checked, looking worried.

"Really not my first time getting clocked in the head," Tony assured him. "Just won't be drinking tonight."

Steve leaned in and gave him another, more gentle kiss. "I'm still gonna worry."

"Mother hen," Tony replied, kissing him back. "Welcome to our lives. I usually have a very nice helmet to prevent this."

"Because I am a realistic person, I am not insisting you wear it all the time," Steve said, grinning. "So...getting the next train, or is the subway going to be as screwed up now as Uber?"

"Maybe if you show a little leg we can catch a cab," he teased.

Steve snorted. "If I show a little leg in this weather, I'll catch hypothermia for about ten minutes."

"Walking it is," Tony said with a grumpy sigh. "You'll have to stick close to keep me warm."

"Of course," Steve said, sliding his arm around Tony's waist. "Let's hurry before Jan starts blowing our phones up wondering where we are."

Tony hummed happily, leaning against him. Let him enjoy his rampant PDA, alright?

"I'll tell her we had to thwart crime."

"Will she be upset we didn't invite her?" Steve teased.

"Not if we say it was in a subway tunnel." Ugh, the smell in there.

Steve made a face. "That was an awful, awful smell," he said. "Even for a subway."

"And you're from Brooklyn, you know bad smells." Tony.

Steve put him in a friendly little headlock for that. "I have no idea why I put up with you," he said, laughing.

"My winning personality?" Tony ventured, only struggling a little.

Steve gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek. "Definitely a part of it," he said sincerely.

"Ugh, it's freezing on my skin," Tony said, rubbing at the spot Steve kissed. "Next time we need to go somewhere warm."

"No argument here," Steve said. "Not a huge fan of cold and wet, myself."

Go figure.

"Hot dog guy!" he said, pointing.

He was already planning a huge tip because the guy had to be freezing.

At least he had heat from the cart? No one wanted a cold dog.

"Order one for me," Tony said, laughing at Steve's enthusiasm.

"Anything on it?"

If you say ketchup, a part of him will die, Tony.

He was tempted!

"Mustard and sauerkraut if you won't shun me for my breath after," he replied.

Steve grinned. "It just means I can get sauerkraut too!"

Dorks, the pair of them.

"God help the rest of the party," Tony said, snuggling in against Steve's side.

"Well, I'm not planning on kissing any of them, so they'll deal," Steve decided, pulling Tony along to the poor hot dog vendor. "Six dogs with mustard and sauerkraut, please."

Just one was for Tony.

And that vendor didn't even blink at the order. Did not even look surprised.

"You're going to eat them as he makes them, aren't you?"

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE FIVE HANDS, STEVE.

"Well, I'll hand you yours first," Steve said, "but...yeah."

"What a gentleman," he teased, pulling out cash to cover the hotdogs and a decent tip.

For Tony Stark.

The hot dog vendor's eyes probably bugged out a little, huh?

"Well, have to keep my best guy happy," Steve said, biting into his first hot dog.

Just a little!

"Your best guy?" That was a term that made Tony grin at him.

Steve's cheeks went pink. "Is that horribly old fashioned?"

"It's cute," Tony replied, leaning in to kiss him on the nose. "I'm not expected you to call me bae."

"Still can't convince me that's really a word, no," Steve replied, smiling.

"Whatever you say, old man," Tony replied, starting in on his own hotdog.

Steve would have stuck his tongue out but he was too busy eating his second and third hot dogs while the vendor was shaking his head ruefully and making the last two.

Tony shrugged like he couldn't be held responsible for this lug.

"Should I call you that? My best guy?"

"If you'd like," Steve said, blushing hard around his hot dog.

He'd love that.

"Alright," Tony said, bumping his shoulder against Steve's and enjoying the blush. "My best guy it is."

"I absolutely adore you," Steve said into Tony's ear.

Tony managed an answering blush at that and he glanced away and then back at him like he didn't know how to handle that. Way to ruin his ability to be smooth, Steven.

The poor cart vendor cleared his throat an held out Steve's last hotdogs. The tip was just barely worth putting up with these lovebirds.

"Thank you," Steve said sincerely, taking the last two hot dogs. "Happy New Year."

He was way too naturally polite to be a New Yorker, but at least he said it around a mouthful of hot dog?

Tony tugged his arm to keep them moving. "Stay warm," he called back.

Steve nodded. "Making money off the drunks in a few hours isn't worth it if you lose toes."

"You're cute when you mother hen." Other people. He found it cute with other people.

"I'm just expressin' concern here," Steve said, tugging his hat a little lower. "It's cold enough out here to freeze your parts off."

"At least it isn't snowing, then we'd never get anywhere," Tony replied.

And it would be the beginning of so, so many H/C fics.

Soooo many.

"Have to hole up in a convenient hotel room or something," he said, laughing.

"Warm you up from the cold," Tony continued like they were full aware of those tropes. He curled his arm around Steve's waist to keep close.

"By a fireplace?" Steve suggested, chuckling.

"Bear skin rug too." Guys, c'mon now.

"Oh, of course," Steve said, laughing harder. "And Kenny G playing in the background."

Tony burst out laughing, not able to pretend to be serious. "Who taught you about Kenny G?"

"JARVIS," Steve said. "I asked for music that I could forget I was listening to."

"...harsh but fair, JARVIS," Tony decided after a moment.

Steve laughed. "Other suggestions for that particular genre of music?"

"Well, there's the classic Barry White," he replied. "Or we can go modern and just play Lana Del Rey."

Yes, weird sugar daddy music was just what they needed in this relationship.

That wouldn't make it weird at all!

"I don't think I've heard Barry White. Is he the one who sings with his brothers?"

That's Barry Gibb, Steven.

"...no?" The Bee Gees were soooo far from being in Tony's wheelhouse of musical knowledge. Ask him a question about Black Sabbath instead, Steve. "We'll add a playlist to your tablet when we get home."

"Sounds great," Steve said. "We almost there?"

"Just a block away now. Barring another villain attack." HE SWORE TO GOD, IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN, HE WAS OUT.

"Well, now you jinxed us," Steve muttered, walking a little faster.

"I did not!" He sort of did. "Next time we go to your world's party."

"Not sure I was really invited to my world's party," Steve said. "Think it was a pity invite."

"A pity invite?" Tony asked with a frown.

"The other you's throwing it," Steve said. "He still gets weird and kind of squeaky when I mention you."

Tony pat him on the shoulder. "If it helps, I can't imagine inviting anyone to a party out of pity."

Maybe the other him was just nervous because he didn't want people thinking he was cheating on Pepper?

"I appreciate hearing that," Steve said, "and he might be. I haven't exactly asked him."

Tony sighed and bumped his shoulder against Steve's. "I hear talking to your teammates is a good thing."

Steve sighed back. "I know. I'm just...not good at it. New Year's resolution: to get better at it."

"You'll get there," Tony replied, resting his head on Steve's shoulder as they walked. "I have faith in your stubbornness."

Steve kissed the top of Tony's head. "Thank you."

"There's her building," Tony said, fully enjoying the full on cuddle session they had going. "Aren't you glad to have rich friends?"

"It's still hard to wrap my mind around," Steve admitted, smiling. "It helps when they're so nice."

"One of these days you'll have to show me where you grew up. I'll brave the hipsters for it," Tony said, nodding at the doorman on the way into the building.

"It's probably an overpriced coffee shop by now," Steve said, giving the doorman a polite smile as well. "Staying warm enough?" he checked.

"Then you'll have to buy me a coffee," Tony said, glancing back at Steve and his continued motherhenning.

The door man smiled back at him and nodded. "Of course, sir."

"Make sure you stay inside as much as your breaks allow," Steve said, nodding. "Happy New Year."

"You can bring him hot chocolate later," Tony promised.

"That's a great idea," Steve said, grinning at Tony. "Should I have worn my festive sweater again tonight?" he teased.

"And make Jan blame me for letting you out of the house like that?" Tony shot back, hitting the elevator button. "No thank you."

"I was going to get you a matching one in the after-holiday sale," Steve replied, laughing.

"You are not." He'd wear it if Steve did, though.

"But you really seemed to like it!" Steve said, all fake big-eyed sincerity.

"Polyester, Steven. Polyester."

It was a crime against humanity to make him wear.

"That's what made it tough to get off, right?" Steve asked.

"That's what made it terrible and sweaty," Tony replied, tugging him into the elevator to kiss again. "The only way I'm wearing one is if you rip it off me right away."

Steve laughed and kissed him back. "Does polyester rip? Seemed pretty tough to me."

"I would be willing to test the theory with you," Tony said, holding onto Steve's scarf to keep him in place for more of that.

He'd push the floor button in just a moment.

"Are we going to move sometime, love?" Steve teased when he came up from air.

"You were distracting," Tony said as he let him go to push the button. "I'm blaming you if she gets mad."

"I'm blaming having to punch people on the subway," Steve said.

"And not your pretty, pretty face?" Tony asked. "Don't sell yourself short."

Steve kissed Tony's nose. "Flatterer," he said fondly.

"I can't help it, I'm hoping to get lucky," he joked.

Steve chuckled. "I'd say so far your odds are pretty good."

"Even with the subway thing?" Tony asked as the elevator dinged.

"It's us," Steve said simply. "Unless you made sure there was going to be a subway thing, I just chalk it up to our lives being weird."

"If I had that much control over the stupidity of people, the world would be a much different place," Tony assured him.

Steve laughed. "I can just imagine."

Hopefully not in an Ultron-taking-over way. Cough.

Hey now, Ultron was his own entity. Of evil. Or non-human morality. Something like that.

Tony smiled and tugged on his arm to keep moving. "Although, if you thinking fighting bad guys is a date activity..."

"That makes me perfect for you?" Steve finished hopefully.

"Very perfect," he replied, popping up onto his toes for a very fast kiss.

Steve kissed him back as the doors opened up.

He gave a very faint annoyed grumble about that.

"Expect to be stolen for cuddling by Jan," Tony said with a laugh. It wasn't like he could even be jealous about it because Steve was the best cuddler and Jan needed to appreciate that.

Steve laughed. "I'd be happy to pay some attention to our lovely hostess."

"Hopefully she won't get handsy," Tony added dryly, knocking on the door to her apartment.

"She wouldn't!" Steve protested. "...would she?"

Tony just gave him a completely innocent look like he couldn't answer that for him.

Steve narrowed his eyes at him as the door swung open.

The door was quickly opened by a grumpy looking Jan who looked to be alone in the place and dressed in an oversized NYU sweatshirt and sleep shorts. Because they were late.

"Why do you two smell like a dumpster?"

Edited 2018-01-08 21:03 (UTC)

"Hello to you too, Jan," Tony said with a smile.

Steve's eyes had gone wide and guilty. "We're so sorry to disturb you if you were already asleep! We had a slightly...large...subway problem?"

She wrinkled her nose at them before moving to the side to let them in. "Carol got called into SWORD and you guys are late."

Poor, poor Jan. All by herself.

"And we're here now," Tony assured her, tugging Steve along. "No one else here?"

"We can leave our coats out here if it might make us less...pungent," Steve offered.

"Please. Maybe I have some Fabreeze somewhere," she said, trying to remember if she had anything like that at this place. Or where the cleaning lady kept things. "Vision was a maybe, but apparently there was a thing in Hell's Kitchen with ninjas? I don't know."

"We got the Wrecking Crew," Tony said, taking off his coat to leave in the pretty spacious entrance for a New York apartment.

It had an entryway. That already made it ridiculous, in Steve's experience.

"They had a magic crowbar," Steve added, unimpressed.

And she wasn't even the one who could just buy the whole building!

"Ugh, I hate those guys. They're so stupid," she said, pulling Steve into the living room so she could steal him before Tony got there.

Which was pretty obvious if you asked Tony. Who was politely putting their jackets up to hopefully air out. "It was better than the Serpent Society," Tony called after them.

"Were they dressed like snakes or actually snakes?" Steve asked, following where Jan led like the polite sucker he was.

"Yep," she said, letting the 'p' pop on the end of the word and nodding enthusiastically. "The leader is super creepy too. She has crazy eyes."

"I told you she was going to steal you," Tony said, trailing after them.

"Never trust the crazy eyes," Steve agreed. "Gets you every time."

"Also, she's totally a Nazi," Jan added, sticking her tongue out at Tony before trying to push Steve onto the couch. Why were all the people she knew so dense?

Tony just raised his eyebrows at her, flopping over into an arm chair. "I hope you have food."

Steve sat a very polite distance away from Jan in case he still smelled like Eau de Subway. "Or we could make. Um. Toast?"

Nope, that wasn't allowed, Steve. She was using your shoulder as a pillow because Carol wasn't here and she was without a date this year.

"I can order pizza if you can wait for it to show up." On New Years Eve. God help them. "Tony isn't allowed in the kitchen, so you can make toast."

"We got hotdogs to hold over the hunger pains," Tony said, glancing at the pristine, perfectly untouched kitchen because literally no one in this apartment cooked.

"That poor guy looked like he was turning into a popsicle," Steve said sympathetically. "Why isn't Tony allowed in the kitchen? Did you hear about how he melted the microwave making a pie?"

"He did what?" she asked with complete glee. Steve, you needed to text her these things more often!

"...it was more an explosion," Tony muttered, sinking into the chair a little more as he watched the NYE coverage on TV. "He helped."

"That's why I stick to toast now," Steve said. "And takeout. We're really good at takeout."

"How do you think most of us survived when we lived together? It was all takeout," Jan said brightly. "Tony, can you order us some pizza?"

She jerked her head over to the kitchen and did some complicated things with her eyebrows to express what she needed him to do. Away from them.

Which got some equally complicated looks in response from Tony, but he sighed and pushed himself up.

"Don't break him, will you?"

Steve looked slightly worried. "Um?" he asked, turning his attention to Jan.

"Don't be rude!" Jan called after Tony before turning her focus on Steve. "Well... is he being nice? Do I have to hit him for you?"

Because she had to defend both of them.

Steve laughed, blushing up to his ears. "He's being very nice. We're good. This whole thing feels surprisingly easy."

"Good," Jan said with a serious nod. "I'll hit you too, just so you know."

Steve kissed her cheek swiftly. "Good to know someone else is lookin' out for him, too."

"And you," she replied, pleased with his reaction even as she gave his shoulder a little shove.

"And me too," Steve mumbled, blushing.

Jan pressed in for a quick hug. "But you're a good guy. I probably won't have to ask Rhodey to smack you for me," she teased.

"I appreciate that," Steve said, giving her a truly excellent hug.

"Do I get to come back anytime soon?" Tony asked, having ordered the pizza and spent some time checking text messages about ninjas from Barton.

"Ask Tony about Sunset sometime, okay?" Jan whispered before pulling away. If he really wanted to stick around for the long haul, he ought to know a little more about all that baggage.

"You better have ordered enough for all of us," she called back to Tony.

"He knows better at this point," Steve said, laughing. "I'm not fun when my blood sugar gets too low."

"Don't let him fool you. He ate half a dozen hotdogs on the way here," Tony said, coming back around with phone in hand to look at the pictures sent to him.

"I meant for me," she said, rolling her eyes. "I deserve a pizza just for me."

"The answer to this question is very important to our friendship," Steve said. "Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?"

"He has a hang up on it," Tony said, taking the other end of the couch this time to sprawl out on.

"It can be good," Jan replied with an imperious little sniff, just daring Steve to say something.

"How is everyone in this century so wrong?" Steve whined.

"Poor baby," Tony coped. "How will you cope?"

"I think he's just sad they didn't have it back then," Jan added thoughtfully.

"We had pineapple," Steve said. "We just put it in normal things, like pie."

Pineapple meringue pie isn't normal, Steve.

"Pineapple pie?" Tony was mostly picturing their pie disaster, so...

"I'd try it," Jan pronounced after some consideration as well. "I should have gotten the ingredients for Mai Tais."

"I'll find someone to make one," Steve said. Because he remembered the apple pie disaster. "What do you have around? We're easy."

"Water for me," Tony said with a heavy sigh. Blows to the head weren't any fun.

"I have wine," Jan said, giving Tony a little look for the water thing. She would mother hen him too soon enough.

"He took a bump to the head," Steve said, happily selling him out.

"Judas," Tony grumbled, sinking down into the couch a little more. "I'm fine. Barely even hurts."

Which meant Steve was cruelly--cruelly--abandoned in favor of latching onto Tony to check his eyes for signs of a concussion.

Man, their lives made things strange.

"You better not be lying."

Steve was fine being abandoned if it meant Tony was getting properly fussed at. He placed his hand on Tony's knee and shoved over to make more room.

"I'm not lying. Shouldn't you be making him into your patriotic pillow right now?" Oh, Tony. Deflection worked with other people, but less so here.

"I can do both!" Possibly by laying across them both. Yep. That was the plan now.

Steve gave a surprised laugh. "Hello there."

"This is what you get with the esteemed Janet Van Dyne." Tony said dryly. It wasn't as though he was really upset about this, though. He missed Jan dearly sometimes.

"Shh, you two. Mariah Carey is singing."

Also, she was comfortable.

"Is that what we're calling it," Steve muttered judgmentally.

Tony muffled a laugh, reaching over the back of the couch to brush his fingers against Steve's neck affectionately. "That's what they're calling it."

Steve gave Tony a soft smile in reply. "It's certainly...something."

New York City, Sunday - NYE

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject