Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

So, a hurricane was set to come through. That was a perfectly normal thing that happened without bringing the weirdness of the island into it. It had almost been refreshing to hear about even.

Which meant Tony had been perfectly content to wait it out in his apartment with a large supply of coffee and food that could be microwaved.

What he did not expect was a shark crashing in through the windows to flail about in his living room where he'd been enjoying a nice cup of coffee. That was not on the radar of things that would be happening to him today.

"Have I pissed off Namor recently?" he asked JARVIS, raising his voice to get it over the storm outside and the shark's aggressive flailing that was destroying his furniture.

"Not to my knowledge, sir"

"Huh." Tony sighed and had seriously reconsider all his life choices right now.

[I just wanted to make a Namor joke. Open, though!]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

Steve's shield came whipping through the living room to whack the shark between the eyes.

"What the heck," Steve, still in pajamas, demanded.

[imafuturist]

"I don't know!" It wasn't his fault. Probably. "It's a shark!"

He was stating the obvious now.

[heroic_jawline]

"Why is it in the living room?" Steve replied.

[imafuturist]

"I don't know! It came in the window!"

And he was summoning the armor to deal with this shit. But stairs made it a bit sluggish to reach him as he ducked behind the poor couch.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve, naturally, glanced out the window. "There are dozens of the things out there!" he said, sounding shocked.

The shark in the living room began gnashing its teeth and making an attempt to eat the poor couch.

[imafuturist]

"What?!" Tony glanced up to see the dark shapes out the broken window.

"I hate this place," he muttered.

He should probably get away from the couch now.

[heroic_jawline]

"Shark now, bitching later," Steve said, smacking the thing in the teeth with his shield.

It wasn't super effective, but it sure did get pissed-off shark teeth all over the floor.

[imafuturist]

"Right," Tony said, firing a repulsive at the body of the shark to knock it back.

[heroic_jawline]

"Good," Steve said with a little grin. "Now, how do we get it out of the living room?"

[imafuturist]

"...I had not thought that far ahead."

Sounded accurate.

[heroic_jawline]

"Back out the window?" Steve suggested. "It's gonna need to be repaired anyway."

[imafuturist]

"Maybe with metal this time," he said. "The glass was supposed to be hurricane proof. Didn't mention shark proof."

The shark was weakly snapping at the air where it lay. Poor, murderous thing.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'd write a strong letter to the manufacturer," Steve teased. "Were you the manufacturer?"

[imafuturist]

"Other me was, so... basically me," Tony replied, shooting him a look. "Nice pajamas."

Said the guy who had his Folgers Commercial morning interrupted by a shark and immediately blamed Namor.

[heroic_jawline]

"Beats not bein' in anything," Steve shot back. "That would have been much more unsafe for fighting a live shark in the living room."

[imafuturist]

Steve, think about what you say. Because now Tony had to pause and not think about things.

"Right. Out the window?"

[heroic_jawline]

Naked shark fighting! All the cool kids are doing it!

Steve nodded. "On three?"

[imafuturist]

THEY WERE NOT, ROGERS.

"Try not to embarrass me," Tony replied, getting the rest of the armor assembled so he could stand on the side that had all those teeth snapping still. "One, two..."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve gave the shark a good shove, breaking the rest of the window as he pushed the thing out onto the street.

[imafuturist]

"...my house," Tony just said with the quiet resignation of someone who had this happen SO MUCH.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm sorry," Steve said sincerely, turning to face Tony and unaware of another shark about to burst through the hole behind him.

[imafuturist]

Which was nice of him, honest.

"Oh, c'mon!" Tony snapped, shooting at the thing the moment he saw it.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve hit the dirt before rolling over to kick at the shark with his bare feet.

At least it wasn't a headbutt?

[imafuturist]

Like a patriotic lil' turtle. Adorable.

"Maybe we can block the window with the couch?" Because that thing was a goner anyway. That poor, poor couch.

[heroic_jawline]

"At least until a shark lands on the couch."

Steve, why do you set yourself up that way?