Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

Tony woke up to an ungodly cacophony that pretty much only he could hear. Data streams, stray satellite feeds, basic tech in the house...

He made a small noise of pain, shoving the heels of his hands against his eyes like that might help, and went through a mantra of 'make it stop, make it stop' inside his head, not hearing the concerned:

"Sir? Sir, you are overloading the local processo--"

Until everything just... suddenly stopped. And he was able to look around what seemed to be a living room without any pain. Because of course he'd passed out on the couch last night rather than his perfectly ergonomic bed. Not that he even knew about said bed at the moment, but still.

"What just happened?" he asked himself quietly. Or maybe he was asking the voice. There'd been a voice, right?

Come Monday, JARVIS was so not going to be a happy camper about being forced into blackout mode by a panicked technopath. Words would be had on the subject, Stark!

[open yesss]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

"Pretty sure you can bounce a quarter, bro."

Oh, Steve, no.

[imafuturist]

Tony couldn't help but laugh now. "Did you just 'bro' me?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Sounds like it, yeah," Steve said, laughing. "Whoops."

[imafuturist]

"Well, luckily I don't have a quarter to test your theory." A beat. "Bro."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve laughed, then ripped off what was left of his shirt.

The SHIELD uniform people were going to be SO DISAPPOINTED.

[imafuturist]

Disappointed or super interested in a repeat. You know. For science.

"...okay, you weren't lying," Tony croaked.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve grinned. "Thanks, man. You're not so bad yourself."

Because they were strippers. Obviously.

[imafuturist]

Strippers were totally into casual nudity. It was true.

Tony cleared his throat and shrugged like he had literally any level of chill. "I'm sure we've seen this before."

Hundreds of time. Clearly.

[heroic_jawline]

Well, the movies just glaze over the "everyone strips in the locker room" montages.

"Hundreds of times," Steve agreed.

[imafuturist]

So much casual nudity among teammates! There was probably some sort of pollen in there too. If fanfic is to be believed.

"Completely oblivious to it by now." EXCEPT NOT.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, we all can't have cool magic clothing that appears when we want it to," Steve teased.

[imafuturist]

"Don't be jealous of it," Tony replied, changing it to look like it had when it first showed up.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm a little jealous of it," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"I'm sure I'm jealous of your..." He waved vaguely toward Steve's crotch. He meant underwear. He totally meant underwear.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm sure yours is perfectly adequate," Steve assured him.

This was the kind of assurance that would not not-a-stripper Steve waking up in a cold, embarrassed sweat months from now.

[imafuturist]

Just bottle it up, Steve. Geeze. Maybe date a woman you just met. Make out a little post-funeral before tearing apart interpersonal relationships. You know, healthy things.

"Thanks? It might be part of this suit." Still referring to underwear.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve was not thinking about underwear, which was why he looked horrified. "It comes off?!"

[imafuturist]

"I'd assume so," Tony said, squinting down at himself now. And now it looked like he was wearing bike shorts. Which was probably better than slutty catsuit look? Maybe?

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, you are a magical robot," Steve said. "You don't really need one, I guess."

[imafuturist]

"Why wouldn't I? I can't just wander around all... loose." Seriously, you two.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve blinked. "Loose?" he repeated, getting the idea (slowly) that they might not be talking about the same thing.

[imafuturist]

"You know." He did not. But Tony was still gesturing vaguely at himself. So vaguely.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, it's not supposed to be so loose it falls off," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"Well, I can't wear pants tight enough for that," Tony replied. "I mean. It just sounds uncomfortable."

[heroic_jawline]

"I dunno," Steve said, gesturing down. "I've never had that problem."