Secret AIM Facility - Long Island, NY - Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

After the complete clusterfuck that was yesterday, Tony was going for a tried and true method of coping called 'go beat up bad guys for touching his stuff.' It was super fun.

And he did promise to let this version of Steve hit the armor for stress tests, but hitting AIM seemed like a way better plan. So, hitting AIM it was.

"If you see anyone in ridiculous yellow outfits, they're the bad guys," Tony said, looking through the list of Stark technology on the premises that was helpfully listed by JARVIS after a quick scan of the place. He was going to blow up so much stuff today.

It almost made up for the fact that he was in Long Island.

[for the captain who would be confused if Tony said 'Assemble!']

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[imafuturist]

Tony would bet on exploding, to be honest.

"Me? Never," he said cheerfully. He came to a stop at a restaurant that looked like it had really seen better days, opening the door for Steve. "I'm practically a monk these days, I'll have you know."

[heroic_jawline]

"As the person who currently lives with you, I really appreciate that," Steve said, possibly unintentionally starting rumors among the poor pizza people.

[imafuturist]

Had they been in Steve's New York, that would certainly be the case. At least here the Avengers Mansion was common knowledge.

Probably why it had an attack rate on part with the X-Mansion.

"Hurtful, Steve. I'd at least warn you before bringing a date home. Maybe a sock on a doorknob?"

[heroic_jawline]

"How extremely classy," Steve said, smiling slightly.

[imafuturist]

"Would you prefer a stocking?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, I don't have the calves for stockings," Steve teased.

[imafuturist]

Tony laughed again, waving at the cashier. "Steve, don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. I believe in you and your trim calves."

And that would start rumors. That right there.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve snickered. "Don't let the suit designers hear you say that."

God only knew what Coulson would design with that. Steve'd be back in booty shorts.

[imafuturist]

Fury probably had to nix at least three versions for being too bootylicious, it was true.

"Two of your largest pizzas," Tony said, leaning on the counter to smile at the woman at the register. There was possibly even a wink in there. "Topping preference, Steve?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Pepperoni's good," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"Two pepperoni," Tony said, smiling at the girl until she turned as red as Steve did and fled to place the order. "I really would love to see the SHIELD research and development team who made your suit."

And judge them a little.

[heroic_jawline]

"Yeah, I'd kinda like to meet them myself," Steve said dryly. "Maybe they'll take notes? Your dad was great with implementing my ideas into the one I wore in Europe..."

[imafuturist]

"Wow, you lost me at 'my father' and 'listening to other people'."

Oh, MCU Howard. He managed to be ever so slightly less of a Freudian excuse for Tony.

[heroic_jawline]

"He did every now and then," Steve said, smiling softly. "He didn't even have to be slightly singed or shot at at the time, either, thought that happened a few times, too."

[imafuturist]

"In no way does that shock me," Tony replied dryly. "I like to think I got my sweet nature from my mother."

That was a joke. That was most certainly a joke.

[heroic_jawline]

"I didn't meet her," Steve said. "...probably."

There had been a lot of women, okay?

[imafuturist]

"Who knows with the timeline changes," Tony replied, giving it some thought. "She was younger than him by a bit."

Because this Tony was some nebulous 30's age because comic books rebooted a lot and the cartoon was never sure if they favoured the movies or the comics for that one.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, I'm sure she was a great lady," Steve said. "And patient."

Soooo patient.

[imafuturist]

"She was. I started a couple charities for her." A beat. "Also because the team does not understand that collateral damage isn't always covered by insurance."

Seriously. 'Alien attack' is not covered.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'd kind of wondered about that," Steve admitted. "Can you get your car replaced because Hulk threw it or do they just laugh and hang up on you?"

[imafuturist]

"Well, some companies are starting to offer coverage, but it's a crapshoot."

He was going to end up starting a team on the west coast so everyone could be emo and weird because oh god the West Coast Avengers were the wooooorst. CLINT, HOW DID YOU NOT REALIZE TONY HAD BEEN REPLACED BY RHODEY FOR MONTHS? just to space out their disasters.

"I'm sure you were hoping to learn about the exciting world of insurance when you agreed to beat up AIM with me."

[heroic_jawline]

"Maybe I was," Steve said with a tiny smile. "I have a lot to catch up on, after all."

[imafuturist]

"You're doing great," Tony replied. Because this Steve had yet to be replaced by an alien shapeshifter. So he was already ahead on some counts. "No one expects you to know everything right away. Well, I don't. If SHIELD says otherwise, you can tell them to shove it."

[heroic_jawline]

"And wouldn't that just be a delightful conversation," Steve said dryly.

[imafuturist]

"Steve, you're Captain America. Most of those agents grew up idolizing you." A beat. "Fury, I assume, hatched fully grown, eyepatch and all."

Just kidding. In Tony's version, Winter Soldier is the one who caused Fury to wear it.