Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

Tony had not expected any visitors this weekend. At least no one who gave him any damn warning before hand. Which meant he might end up finding his own version of Barton sleeping on the couch after raiding the fridge for food.

And that wouldn't be too bad, actually.

Instead, he woke up to Jan blowing up his phone with text messages and a headache.

On the plus side, at least Steve's guest was pretty great. He really should make a point to get to know the Sam Wilson back home. But, for now, he was making some coffee so he could function on a human level.

[For the guests and housemate!]

Comments

[bird_costume]

"I'm not a science experiment," Sam said. "I'm an Air Force vet and I passed PJ training all on my own."

[imnotantman]

"I was talking about Avengers." Oh, shots fired!

[bird_costume]

"That's cold, man," Sam said, glaring into his coffee mug.

[imafuturist]

"You quit the team!" Tony snapped. "So keep it to a minimum!"

[heroic_jawline]

So there would definitely not be pancakes for breakfast today!

...not that Steve knew how to make pancakes that weren't burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. DETAILS.

"So you've shown up, waved your weapon around, and been vaguely insulting," Steve said. "I'm assuming you're not also wanting a tour of the school."

[imnotantman]

"I'll pass on that, yeah." And yet he didn't seem even slightly ashamed of his behavior. Look at him go!

[bird_costume]

"So you're going now?" Sam asked hopefully. "Bye."

[imnotantman]

"Nah." He was doing this on purpose now.

[imafuturist]

Tony pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I'm calling Jan."

It was basically the only thing that made the smirk go away.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve started smirking, though. "She's gonna yell."

[imnotantman]

"Oh, now she's keeping in touch with you?" Hank wasn't jealous. At all.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve arched up an eyebrow. "She does. She sends me hilarious videos."

[imnotantman]

Hank... had literally no clue what that meant. Because Jan was literally his only source of pop culture still.

"To keep an eye on Tony?" WISHFUL THINKING.

Who was listening to Jan talk basically a mile a minute over there. God help him.

[heroic_jawline]

"No, just because she likes me," Steve said. "Why would I need to keep an eye on Tony?"

[imafuturist]

"No talking about me," Tony said, glancing away from the phone. "No, not you, Jan. Yes--okay."

And he was pulled back into that rant.

[imnotantman]

"Have you met his bad choices?" Hank didn't so much ask as blandly state. Because he really had known Tony for a long time.

[heroic_jawline]

"Not all of them," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"Literally still in the room!"

[imnotantman]

"Don't care," Hank replied cheerfully. "He makes his own problems."

[heroic_jawline]

"Or he has them show up uninvited," Steve said pointedly.

[imnotantman]

"Don't you have a bite." His Steve would have looked disappointed until Jan showed up to make Hank leave.

[bird_costume]

"Oh, he's got words," Sam said with a little smirk. "Especially if you mess with one of his."

[imafuturist]

Well that just made Hanks expression turn a little bitter. Before he could open his mouth at least, a phone was shoved at him.

"Talk to Janet. Please," Tony said, watching for a moment before Hank took the phone and stalked off.

[heroic_jawline]

"Wow," Steve said with a tiny smile. "Jan had some words, too, huh?"

[imafuturist]

"Jan has a lot of words," Tony replied with a sigh. "I'm sorry, I would have warned you if I knew he was coming."

He would have gone into defcon 1.