Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

Tony woke up to an ungodly cacophony that pretty much only he could hear. Data streams, stray satellite feeds, basic tech in the house...

He made a small noise of pain, shoving the heels of his hands against his eyes like that might help, and went through a mantra of 'make it stop, make it stop' inside his head, not hearing the concerned:

"Sir? Sir, you are overloading the local processo--"

Until everything just... suddenly stopped. And he was able to look around what seemed to be a living room without any pain. Because of course he'd passed out on the couch last night rather than his perfectly ergonomic bed. Not that he even knew about said bed at the moment, but still.

"What just happened?" he asked himself quietly. Or maybe he was asking the voice. There'd been a voice, right?

Come Monday, JARVIS was so not going to be a happy camper about being forced into blackout mode by a panicked technopath. Words would be had on the subject, Stark!

[open yesss]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

Turned out that Steve could still blush! "It's red white and blue?"

And tiiiiiny. Natasha had a wicked sense of humor, and in his right mind Steve wouldn't have EVER touched them.

[imafuturist]

"...really?" Natasha, why?

[heroic_jawline]

"With a shield. I don't know why."

[imafuturist]

SURE YOU DIDN'T, STEVE.

"Like for a fan dance?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, God, I hope not," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

Tony was trying very hard not to grin at that. Veeeery hard.

"I'm sure you did a great job?"

[heroic_jawline]

"I feel like I have a pretty strong work ethic," Steve said, flexing. "I don't think these muscles just magically appeared."

[imafuturist]

Yes, a comment should have been made about that in any other situation, but luckily for Steve, Tony had amnesia. And was distracted by the flexing.

"You must work out a lot," Tony agreed, not able to look away.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve nodded, flexing some more. "You should see the abs, man."

[imafuturist]

Steve, no.

"Yeah?" Tony said, turning red like he hadn't tried to figure out the volume in Steve's pants with math. "That good?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Pretty sure you can bounce a quarter, bro."

Oh, Steve, no.

[imafuturist]

Tony couldn't help but laugh now. "Did you just 'bro' me?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Sounds like it, yeah," Steve said, laughing. "Whoops."

[imafuturist]

"Well, luckily I don't have a quarter to test your theory." A beat. "Bro."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve laughed, then ripped off what was left of his shirt.

The SHIELD uniform people were going to be SO DISAPPOINTED.

[imafuturist]

Disappointed or super interested in a repeat. You know. For science.

"...okay, you weren't lying," Tony croaked.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve grinned. "Thanks, man. You're not so bad yourself."

Because they were strippers. Obviously.

[imafuturist]

Strippers were totally into casual nudity. It was true.

Tony cleared his throat and shrugged like he had literally any level of chill. "I'm sure we've seen this before."

Hundreds of time. Clearly.

[heroic_jawline]

Well, the movies just glaze over the "everyone strips in the locker room" montages.

"Hundreds of times," Steve agreed.

[imafuturist]

So much casual nudity among teammates! There was probably some sort of pollen in there too. If fanfic is to be believed.

"Completely oblivious to it by now." EXCEPT NOT.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, we all can't have cool magic clothing that appears when we want it to," Steve teased.

[imafuturist]

"Don't be jealous of it," Tony replied, changing it to look like it had when it first showed up.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm a little jealous of it," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"I'm sure I'm jealous of your..." He waved vaguely toward Steve's crotch. He meant underwear. He totally meant underwear.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm sure yours is perfectly adequate," Steve assured him.

This was the kind of assurance that would not not-a-stripper Steve waking up in a cold, embarrassed sweat months from now.