Secret AIM Facility - Long Island, NY - Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

After the complete clusterfuck that was yesterday, Tony was going for a tried and true method of coping called 'go beat up bad guys for touching his stuff.' It was super fun.

And he did promise to let this version of Steve hit the armor for stress tests, but hitting AIM seemed like a way better plan. So, hitting AIM it was.

"If you see anyone in ridiculous yellow outfits, they're the bad guys," Tony said, looking through the list of Stark technology on the premises that was helpfully listed by JARVIS after a quick scan of the place. He was going to blow up so much stuff today.

It almost made up for the fact that he was in Long Island.

[for the captain who would be confused if Tony said 'Assemble!']

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[heroic_jawline]

Steve sighed. "Fine, I trust you."

Oh, Steve.

[imafuturist]

It was a moderately poor choice. But one many a Steve made.

Tony waited for a moment, letting Steve relax before, "So, booty call. Huh?"

[heroic_jawline]

Steve's face now matched his boots.

"Huh?"

[imafuturist]

Damn right it was.

"Not ringing any bells? I don't have to clear out of the apartment for the night for your illicit love affair?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, God, no," Steve said, all but melting through the floor in embarrassment.

[imafuturist]

"Because I support your choices, Steve," Tony continued. Because he was the worst person ever.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm not making any choices!" Steve flailed. "I just got a bunch of really brazen calls from strangers!"

[imafuturist]

"Brazen?" Your language was the most precious thing ever, Steve. "Well, I told you about those hippies. Part of that involved free love."

Which was one of Tony's favorite parts.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, I wasn't going to pay for it," Steve said, sounding scandalized.

[imafuturist]

Tony was really regretting that Pepper didn't get his message from Friday right now.

"Also a good philosophy," he said slowly. "But free love means that people can have sex if they want to. All without getting married."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve snorted slightly. "People had sex in the '40s without getting married, too, Tony. They just had to be more careful about it."

Or be Howard.

[imafuturist]

In no way did Tony want to think about Howard's philandering in a non-joking fashion.

"You've shattered my illusions of the 40s being a simpler time where babies were brought by storks." Honestly. "Now being careful means condoms. Which I assume also existed then, otherwise I'd have at least twenty half siblings running around."

[heroic_jawline]

"Condoms were standard issue in the Army," Steve said, smiling. "Bucky used 'em to keep his rifle barrel dry."

That was the worst non-intentional euphemism ever, Steve.

[imafuturist]

...damn it, Steve. Tony was struggling with not laughing again.

"That's generally the purpose of it, yes."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve blinked at him for a moment, confused, before he really thought about what he'd said.

"No, his actual gun," he said, turning red from the tips of his ears down.

[imafuturist]

"You are way too easy," Tony replied, laughing. "You sure you spent time around USO girls?"

Maybe they were different then! Or Tony had a way about him...

[heroic_jawline]

"Where I learned everything I'll ever need to know about knitting, hemming, darning, and drawing a line up the back of someone's leg to fake silk stockings," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"That is in no way what I learned backstage at any of those shows." A beat. "But if I need advice on stockings, you'll be my go to."

[heroic_jawline]

"Great," Steve said a little wryly, mentally kicking himself for leaving himself open like that. "So. Pizza?"

[imafuturist]

Tony grabbed his arm to lead on toward one of the better pizza places in the area. "Hey, you never know. It could come in handy some day. Undercover mission."

[heroic_jawline]

"We usually used Jones for that," Steve made up. "He had the best gams of the group."

[imafuturist]

"I'm going to assume 'gams' means something filthy, you know."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve was going to have to learn not to blush or just explode from it and get it over with. "It means legs," Steve said. "Pervert."

[imafuturist]

Tony would bet on exploding, to be honest.

"Me? Never," he said cheerfully. He came to a stop at a restaurant that looked like it had really seen better days, opening the door for Steve. "I'm practically a monk these days, I'll have you know."

[heroic_jawline]

"As the person who currently lives with you, I really appreciate that," Steve said, possibly unintentionally starting rumors among the poor pizza people.