Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

Tony woke up to an ungodly cacophony that pretty much only he could hear. Data streams, stray satellite feeds, basic tech in the house...

He made a small noise of pain, shoving the heels of his hands against his eyes like that might help, and went through a mantra of 'make it stop, make it stop' inside his head, not hearing the concerned:

"Sir? Sir, you are overloading the local processo--"

Until everything just... suddenly stopped. And he was able to look around what seemed to be a living room without any pain. Because of course he'd passed out on the couch last night rather than his perfectly ergonomic bed. Not that he even knew about said bed at the moment, but still.

"What just happened?" he asked himself quietly. Or maybe he was asking the voice. There'd been a voice, right?

Come Monday, JARVIS was so not going to be a happy camper about being forced into blackout mode by a panicked technopath. Words would be had on the subject, Stark!

[open yesss]

Comments

[imafuturist]

Which was pretty adorable, Tony had to admit. Just ignore the way blatant appreciation of all of that he had going on.

With his stripper arm. You harlot, Steve.

He opened his mouth to say something more on the matter, but ended up a little tongue-tied. Which was ridiculous. "Yeah," he settled on.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve gave him a flirty smile. Because he was a stripper. Apparently.

[imafuturist]

Damn it, stripper Steve!

And Tony was a magic... robot stripper. Of some kind. Whose circuits were probably on the fritz because it was pathetically easy to fluster him. It took Tony years to train this out of his system, damn it.

"At least we woke up with good company," he said, trying to act chill.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve winked at him. "Yeah, we did."

Stripper Steve was a lot less flaily than regular Steve.

[imafuturist]

...goddamn it, Tony couldn't even rib him about the winking now. But he totally would have.

Instead he turned a little red and ducked his head. Because apparently they swapped personalities when they didn't know who they were. And thought they were strippers. "We're going to need to come up with names. I can't keep calling you, uh," he cleared his throat and hurried over, "'hot blond guy' in my head."

He could, but the repression on Monday would be a killer.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve burst out laughing. "Well, it's catchy," he said. "I found my phone. Maybe I can call you, see if I'm listed as something else?"

[imafuturist]

"Well, I hope I'm in there," Tony said earnestly. "Maybe check the texts?"

And hopefully they wouldn't think Tony's name was Rumlow.

[heroic_jawline]

There wouldn't be enough Axe on the island for that.

Steve scrolled. "You don't seem like a Natasha," he mused, "or...holy crap, I met the President? That's gotta be the name of the guy at A or somethin'."

[imafuturist]

Maybe if Tony starting drinking protein shakes?

"Wow, if our boss makes us call him Mr. President..."

[heroic_jawline]

"It might explain the red, white, and blue shield," Steve said, making a little face. "Gross. Okay, best guess you're either Tony or Fury. Fury's totally a stage name."

[imafuturist]

Somewhere, Nick Fury inexplicably hated Captain America.

At that Tony laughed. "I would have thought I'd be something robot sounding. Unless it's supposed to be a secret. I vote Tony. Which still leaves you a mystery."

A beat.

"Wait, call that one. Maybe a phone still works here."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve nodded. "Worth a try. Unless you want to be Weird Beard Guy."

Not nice, Steve.

[imafuturist]

"My beard is not weird!" It was just meticulously angular.

Further proving robotics, really.

[heroic_jawline]

"It's a little weird," Steve insisted, handing Tony a Hot Pocket.

[imafuturist]

"We can't all be baby faced," Tony muttered, accepting the food easily.

[heroic_jawline]

"And babies with facial hair's just weird," he agreed, pressing "call" on his phone now that he had a hand free again.

[imafuturist]

Before Tony could comment on that mental image, he had the same sort of sensation in his head as he had earlier. Only, you know, less crippling.

"Oh. You're Other Steve," he confirmed, tilting his head as he idly followed the call signal through cell towers and satellites back to right across from him. "Nice too meet you, Other Steve."

[heroic_jawline]

"Glad to be the second Steve you sometimes know," Steve said, winking.

[imafuturist]

Seriously with the winking. He was just lucky this version of Tony didn't know any better and found it charming and worthy of a flush instead of the dorkiest damn thing possible.

"I wonder if there's an Other Other Steve," Tony replied with a grin.

[heroic_jawline]

"Maybe, but I'm solidly number two, I think I can live with that," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"Well, since I don't actually remember the other one, you can move up to the top of the list," Tony said with an earnest grin.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve gave him an unironic fist pump. "Awesome."

[imafuturist]

Oh, Tony would make himself sad remembering this. Steeeeeeeeve. No, the other Steeeeeeeeve.

Instead of being a sad sack of emotional trauma, he grinned like that Jersey Shore bullshit was clearly his goal. "Well, I hope we don't have to work today because I have no idea how to dance."

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, I bet if we put on music it'd come back."

Steve. Steve, no.

[imafuturist]

Steve, why must you make things difficult for them later on? Why?

"You think?" Tony asked dubiously.