Apartment Above Stark Industries, Friday Afternoon

[imafuturist]

Tony shot up, one hand immediately going to his now perfectly normal chest before registering where he was.

"Time'z'it?" he mumbled, pressing the heel of his hand against the bridge of his nose stabilize the pounding in his head as he quickly silenced all the data feeds surging in at once. Again, no clue how natural telepaths lived like this all the time.

"It is currently 1:26 P.M. Eastern standard time," JARVIS supplied helpfully.

He untangled himself from the throw blanket and sat up on the couch to glare at where Fox News was still quietly playing on the TV. Because Tony was a masochist.

Ugh, naps were simultaneously the best and worst things in the world.

[for the housemate!]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

And the real reason for the rift is explained!

"I never had toys," Steve said. "Just a rusted nail I named Fred."

Steve, stop it.

[imafuturist]

Steve really was an absolute little shit.

"I will buy you toys, Steve. All the Iron Man toys I can find."

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm not going to play with you, Tony."

"....that sounded better in my head."

[imafuturist]

Did it? Did it really.

"I could get you some Captain America toys if you'd rather play with yourself."

HE COULDN'T HELP IT, OKAY?

[heroic_jawline]

"I walked right into that, didn't I?" Steve said, putting his hand over his eyes.

[imafuturist]

"You really did," Tony admitted. "I tried to let it pass, but I just couldn't help myself."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve snickered. "Sounds like the story of my life."

[imafuturist]

"Always making innuendos?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Never letting things go," Steve said, then held up a hand. "Not an innuendo."

[imafuturist]

Which only made Tony crack up. "Why, Captain Rogers. You're doing it without even trying."

[heroic_jawline]

"Why do I spend time with you?" Steve grumbled, blushing hard.

[imafuturist]

"That is a question for the ages, Steve."

[heroic_jawline]

"I need better friends," Steve teased.

[imafuturist]

Hey now!

"You do, but you've already hit the pinnacle here. Nowhere to go now but down."

[heroic_jawline]

"I can believe that," Steve admitted with a little grin.

[imafuturist]

Tony grinned fast and happy at that before getting back under control to something more chill. "That and my devastating good looks."

Aw yeah.

[heroic_jawline]

"Not that devastating," Steve repeated before his attention was captured by the adorable cleaning robot. "Awwwwww, look how cute and annoyed that robot is."

[imafuturist]

That cleaning robot was everyone's annoyance given surly form.

"I tried to make one of those too, but it ended up just being easier to give JARVIS the ability to scan for foreign contaminants."

It was probably a relief to everyone at the mansion to not being chased by a tiny, angry robot after fighting aliens.

[heroic_jawline]

The angriest Roomba! Awwww, so cute.

"But JARVIS isn't as adorable," Steve said. "Sorry, JARVIS."

[imafuturist]

"I shall regrettably remove you from the list of those allowed to live in the robot uprising, Captain Rogers."

Tony nodded like that made perfect sense for JARVIS to say. This was how bad things happened with you and technology, Tony. This right here.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'll...keep that in mind," Steve replied slowly. "Thanks for the heads up?"

[imafuturist]

"JARVIS, be nice. He's not used to sarcasm," Tony said. "They didn't have it in the forties."

That was true. It only started in the nineties. Proven fact.

[heroic_jawline]

"It's true," Steve said. "We didn't have color, either. The world was in black and white until 1957."

[imafuturist]

JARVIS' silence was deeply judgmental.

"It was the Wizard of Oz that did it, right?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Yep," Steve said, "but only for as long as the movie was playing."

He grinned. "Or something like that."