Apartment Above Stark Industries, Saturday Morning

[imafuturist]

Tony woke up to an ungodly cacophony that pretty much only he could hear. Data streams, stray satellite feeds, basic tech in the house...

He made a small noise of pain, shoving the heels of his hands against his eyes like that might help, and went through a mantra of 'make it stop, make it stop' inside his head, not hearing the concerned:

"Sir? Sir, you are overloading the local processo--"

Until everything just... suddenly stopped. And he was able to look around what seemed to be a living room without any pain. Because of course he'd passed out on the couch last night rather than his perfectly ergonomic bed. Not that he even knew about said bed at the moment, but still.

"What just happened?" he asked himself quietly. Or maybe he was asking the voice. There'd been a voice, right?

Come Monday, JARVIS was so not going to be a happy camper about being forced into blackout mode by a panicked technopath. Words would be had on the subject, Stark!

[open yesss]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, it's part of the job," Steve said. "...apparently."

A horrible thought occurred to him. "...so what does the A stand for on your card, then?"

[imafuturist]

Tony frowned and tried flexing like that. And, while muscular, in no way like that. "Name of the strip club maybe?"

[heroic_jawline]

"It must be," Steve agreed. "I haven't found my wallet yet. Bet I have a card too..."

And a name. Sigh.

"I did find a notebook full of weird words, though: Berlin Wall, Star Wars..."

[imafuturist]

"That's... pretty weird," Tony replied slowly. But then again, how he'd woken up hadn't been much better. "I think I might have shorted out the TV."

And almost everything else in the house. Jesus, Tony.

[heroic_jawline]

"How'd you do that?" Steve asked, pulling the Hot Pockets from the freezer in his one armed stripper suit.

[imafuturist]

"Thought really hard at it?" Tony ventured. "I don't know. I can sort see things. Like text messages. And satellites. And computers."

He blinked at the flow of information.

"I don't know who Tino is, but he searches weird things."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve staaaaared. "So you're like a really good looking robot?"

[imafuturist]

"I don't feel like a robot." A beat. "Which is probably just what a robot would say."

Oh god, he was totally a stripper robot!

[heroic_jawline]

They were going to be SO disappointed in their deductive skills on Monday.

"Probably," Steve agreed. "But you were hungry, so that's anti-robot. Maybe you're a witch?"

[imafuturist]

They really were. Tony would have to make at least three back up plans to prevent this from happening again.

"...I don't think so." He just had a super aggressive annoyance at the idea of magic for some reason. "But sufficiently advanced science and magic are supposed to be close."

A beat. "This seems really convoluted."

[heroic_jawline]

"Kinda," Steve agreed, running his free hand through his hair, making it poof up a bit.

[imafuturist]

Which was pretty adorable, Tony had to admit. Just ignore the way blatant appreciation of all of that he had going on.

With his stripper arm. You harlot, Steve.

He opened his mouth to say something more on the matter, but ended up a little tongue-tied. Which was ridiculous. "Yeah," he settled on.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve gave him a flirty smile. Because he was a stripper. Apparently.

[imafuturist]

Damn it, stripper Steve!

And Tony was a magic... robot stripper. Of some kind. Whose circuits were probably on the fritz because it was pathetically easy to fluster him. It took Tony years to train this out of his system, damn it.

"At least we woke up with good company," he said, trying to act chill.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve winked at him. "Yeah, we did."

Stripper Steve was a lot less flaily than regular Steve.

[imafuturist]

...goddamn it, Tony couldn't even rib him about the winking now. But he totally would have.

Instead he turned a little red and ducked his head. Because apparently they swapped personalities when they didn't know who they were. And thought they were strippers. "We're going to need to come up with names. I can't keep calling you, uh," he cleared his throat and hurried over, "'hot blond guy' in my head."

He could, but the repression on Monday would be a killer.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve burst out laughing. "Well, it's catchy," he said. "I found my phone. Maybe I can call you, see if I'm listed as something else?"

[imafuturist]

"Well, I hope I'm in there," Tony said earnestly. "Maybe check the texts?"

And hopefully they wouldn't think Tony's name was Rumlow.

[heroic_jawline]

There wouldn't be enough Axe on the island for that.

Steve scrolled. "You don't seem like a Natasha," he mused, "or...holy crap, I met the President? That's gotta be the name of the guy at A or somethin'."

[imafuturist]

Maybe if Tony starting drinking protein shakes?

"Wow, if our boss makes us call him Mr. President..."

[heroic_jawline]

"It might explain the red, white, and blue shield," Steve said, making a little face. "Gross. Okay, best guess you're either Tony or Fury. Fury's totally a stage name."

[imafuturist]

Somewhere, Nick Fury inexplicably hated Captain America.

At that Tony laughed. "I would have thought I'd be something robot sounding. Unless it's supposed to be a secret. I vote Tony. Which still leaves you a mystery."

A beat.

"Wait, call that one. Maybe a phone still works here."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve nodded. "Worth a try. Unless you want to be Weird Beard Guy."

Not nice, Steve.

[imafuturist]

"My beard is not weird!" It was just meticulously angular.

Further proving robotics, really.

[heroic_jawline]

"It's a little weird," Steve insisted, handing Tony a Hot Pocket.