Apartment Above Stark Industries, Friday Afternoon

[imafuturist]

Tony shot up, one hand immediately going to his now perfectly normal chest before registering where he was.

"Time'z'it?" he mumbled, pressing the heel of his hand against the bridge of his nose stabilize the pounding in his head as he quickly silenced all the data feeds surging in at once. Again, no clue how natural telepaths lived like this all the time.

"It is currently 1:26 P.M. Eastern standard time," JARVIS supplied helpfully.

He untangled himself from the throw blanket and sat up on the couch to glare at where Fox News was still quietly playing on the TV. Because Tony was a masochist.

Ugh, naps were simultaneously the best and worst things in the world.

[for the housemate!]

Comments

[imafuturist]

That got Tony to laugh. "No cigarettes." There were other, slightly less legal things smoked instead. "But we had something close to vodka attempted by some of the chemistry majors. It was... well, I didn't go blind from it?"

Which counted for something, right?

[heroic_jawline]

Steve snorted. "That definitely sounds familiar. Monty could drink absolutely anything--Bucky too--and it didn't seem to bother them. Dum Dum moaned about missing bourbon for four solid months until Peg brought a bottle back from London with her. He kissed her in front of the whole camp and she gave him a black eye." He laughed. "Told him to kiss the bottle the next time."

[imafuturist]

If only classic Marvel hadn't failed so badly on female characters back then. It would have been way more fun.

Tony laughed at that one. "Never kiss a woman without permission. Number one rule."

[heroic_jawline]

"One your dad learned, too," Steve said with a satisfied little smirk. "Peggy had one hell of a right hook. She could also do 107 one-armed push-ups, much to the boys' collective chagrin. She won enough money in that bet to buy real whiskey, and then didn't share it with any of them."

God, he loved her.

[imafuturist]

"She sounds great," Tony replied honestly. And not just for punching Howard. But more than a little involved punching Howard. "Reminds me a little of Carol."

[heroic_jawline]

"I haven't met Carol either," Steve said. "If I end up with a Doom, I better get a Carol too."

[imafuturist]

"Damn right you should," Tony agreed. "She's worth at least... five Dooms."

[heroic_jawline]

"I'll tell her you said that," Steve said. "When I meet her."

[imafuturist]

"Just not in front of Jan. She might get jealous." Even though Tony had plenty of love to go around.

[heroic_jawline]

"I haven't met Jan either," Steve said, frowning. "I need to get out more."

[imafuturist]

It's okay, Steve. She was apparently lost in the Microverse. God damn it all.

"See if SHIELD has either of them around," Tony suggested. "They have to be good for something."

[heroic_jawline]

"I will," Steve said. "I'll give them a list of names. Tell them you said to ask about them, but I won't specify which you asked."

[imafuturist]

One name would make Fury have a tiny fit and another would probably end up on HYDRA's list of 'People We Should Probs Kill, Also Hail HYDRA.'

"I hope the files are interesting. SHIELD's files are always interesting."

[heroic_jawline]

See, and this way they wouldn't be able to tell Steve's innocent trolling from Steve trolling with intent. So sneaky.

"I got a few on the Howling Commandos," Steve said. "They were very thorough."

And depressing. So, so depressing.

[imafuturist]

Captain Troll. WE ALL SHOULD HAVE REALIZED.

"I've hacked mine a few times," Tony said, trying to make that slightly less depressing. "I'm now 6'2" and have blue eyes in it. Might have included the phrase 'devastatingly handsome.'"

[heroic_jawline]

Steve snickered. "Of course you did."

[imafuturist]

"It's a gift and a curse," Tony replied seriously.

[heroic_jawline]

"They're gonna notice right away that your eyes aren't blue," Steve said.

[imafuturist]

"Not when they're too distracted by my devastating good looks."

Clearly he had given this some thought. It should really surprise no one that Maria Hill hated him.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'm not feeling that devastated," Steve teased.

[imafuturist]

"You're an outlier and should not be counted," Tony replied easily. "I'm around too many statuesque blondes to really live up to my potential."

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, Thor ruins it for everyone," Steve allowed.

[imafuturist]

"Thor, both of you, Carol, Barton if you squint enough, Sue is a knock out..."

Thank god he had Jan around to be not blond with.

[heroic_jawline]

"I've never squinted that hard at Barton, but Natasha is gorgeous if she doesn't punch you for staring too hard," Steve said.

Which really only added to her appeal if you asked Steve.

[imafuturist]

"Well, redhead." And no, the punching did nothing to deter Tony either. Because he dated people capable of eviscerating him with knives or words. "Gotta love a redhead."

And then be sad that there was one version of him out there who had his life together enough that he and Pepper worked. Barton's wedding was going to be the worst.