Apartment Above Stark Industries, Friday Afternoon

[imafuturist]

Tony shot up, one hand immediately going to his now perfectly normal chest before registering where he was.

"Time'z'it?" he mumbled, pressing the heel of his hand against the bridge of his nose stabilize the pounding in his head as he quickly silenced all the data feeds surging in at once. Again, no clue how natural telepaths lived like this all the time.

"It is currently 1:26 P.M. Eastern standard time," JARVIS supplied helpfully.

He untangled himself from the throw blanket and sat up on the couch to glare at where Fox News was still quietly playing on the TV. Because Tony was a masochist.

Ugh, naps were simultaneously the best and worst things in the world.

[for the housemate!]

Comments

[imafuturist]

"Next time I'll take pictures," Tony promised.

[heroic_jawline]

"You're a pal," Steve said, smiling.

[imafuturist]

"I'll even frame them. Make it nicely artistic." Tony's idea of 'artistic' was not the normal one. LED lights might be involved.

[heroic_jawline]

Untz-untz-untz music when people walked by?

"Sounds great," Steve said, turning back to the movie. "Wait, what's going on now?"

[imafuturist]

Only the classiest untz-untz-untz music. Possibly done by John Williams.

"Which part is confusing? The unsubtle portrayal of humanity or the missing plant?"

[heroic_jawline]

John Williams in a hallway having to sing untz-untz-untz! Because what's the use of being rich, otherwise?

"The unsubtle portrayal of humanity."

[imafuturist]

With a full orchestra to accompany him. Somewhere... Tony's finance department was sobbing and drinking.

"They get better," Tony promised. Technology got them into that trouble and technology would get them out of it. Yay, technology!

[heroic_jawline]

"Do they find a treadmill?"

Because yiiiikes.

[imafuturist]

"That's certainly the hope," Tony replied. "I think it's supposed to show over-reliance on technology."

Which seemed fake. But okay.

[heroic_jawline]

"I get it for folks who can't get around under their own power," Steve said, "but...yeah." He frowned. "The computer controlling the ship is being evil, huh?"

[imafuturist]

"You can tell because it's eye is red," Tony replied in a stage whisper. "Maybe I should have reconsidered my color combination for Iron Man."

But how else would he stand out next to the patriotic blue of Captain America, green of the Hulk, garish purple of Hawkeye, and yellow of Wasp? It was a team of rainbows.

[heroic_jawline]

"Well, I fought a guy named Red Skull so you'll get no argument from me," Steve said teasingly. "Maybe something in a nice gray?"

[imafuturist]

So rude.

"And steal Rhodey's colors? He'd kill me." He most certainly would not. "Maybe silver? Chromed out."

[heroic_jawline]

"Could work," Steve agreed. "Putting the iron in Iron Man?"

[imafuturist]

"That sounds like a movie tagline."

[heroic_jawline]

"Or a vitamin pill," Steve said.

His online pop-up ads were skewed for a sliiiightly older demographic, since he was still asking things like "how do I get my voicemail open?".

[imafuturist]

Steve. Steve stop giving him ammo he could never use.

"Vitamin pills?" That sounded like a completely different sort of pill.

[heroic_jawline]

"I think that's what they are," Steve said. "They show up everywhere when I'm reading online."

[imafuturist]

Tony had to take a moment to not be mean and laugh. "Never click on any of those ads. Promise me."

[heroic_jawline]

You were a good man, Tony!

"I promise," Steve said. "What will happen?"

[imafuturist]

"They're, uh..." God, how to phrase this delicately. "Meant for older men. With difficulties in the bedroom."

There. He could be subtle.

[heroic_jawline]

And now Steve had a mental image of Colonel Phillips that was going to haunt him forever.

"Wow. Um." Steve turned red. "Yeah, not clicking."

[imafuturist]

Just repress it like everyone else did, Steve. It was the only way to be online.

"You get used to them." Hopefully Steve would never run across a pornbot who wanted to chat about single girls in his area.

[heroic_jawline]

Or sending money to a Nigerian prince, no really.

"There's no one I can write to make it go away?"

Sorry, Steve.

[imafuturist]

Wakandan. Clearly it was now a Wakandan prince.

"That is a rabbit hole none of us want to go down," Tony replied. "You can ask JARVIS to block them, though."

And probably replace them with ads about Zoloft. JARVIS would honestly think he was being helpful.